Something’s been on my mind for a while now..The Vagina. I’ve watched mine change since I started having sex and realized,nobody ever discusses the fact that as you grow,and begin to have sex,it changes.
One would be prepared for the internal changes, they are expected,but when your labia begins to elongate,or you watch porn and begin to wonder whether your clit is the right size,these are issues we simply don’t know how to deal with. Who do you discuss this with? It’s one thing to feel fat and talk weight gain with your girls, or breast size, stretch marks, but our vagina is always a taboo topic,and uncomfortable to bring up no matter how close you are with someone.
For a while I had to wonder,what does the average vagina look like?Is the porn vag [small clit,hairless, nonexistent inner labia] a true depiction of what IS?Or what should be? Is mine normal and if not,what to do about it. I took some time and did some research on the idea of “The Perfect Vagina” and thankfully stumbled upon a documentary that hit the spot,so to speak.
Women across the board are getting surgery just to feel like they have a “normal” vagina. This includes labiaplasty, vaginal muscle tightening, having fat transferred to or from the labia and reducing the size of one’s clit. Now,as insecure as I might be at any point about my Lady,I doubt I would. I understand though.
Your vagina is the one thing you want to own and adore. That is what defines your womanhood, for many. It is your pride and glory and once you think that that one part of your body,the one that is really YOURS and not on display,may be imperfect,it could crush you. Insecurity ruins one’s sex life. Many women I know have sex in the dark to hide their bodies and even with the lights off,can’t enjoy it because they KNOW why the lights are off. Now with Vaginal Insecurity, even the basics become a chore, if not a little slice of Hell. You think “What if he fingers me and he doesn’t like it?He can’t go down on me, I’m ugly down there..” and eventually,once you’ve crushed yourself enough,sex becomes a threat more than a promise. You begin to resent your vagina because it is not pretty. The same way you might dislike your hips because they’re too wide or your hair because it’s too curly and your vagina becomes another bodily burden. This is the pressure to be perfect and I’m afraid it’s seeped down to our Holy Ground.
I have to wonder,who are we trying to obtain the Perfect Vagina for? Us? If there was nothing to compare it to,would we be all that bothered? Is it for men,for them to find us attractive? To please them and become their perfect porn star?
I asked my male friends and only three of them stated they did NOT, in fact, believe the Perfect Vag existed. The rest? Their description was basically that of a virginal vagina. Understandable I guess because Virgins are thought to be ‘Pure’ and women are always expected to be. But I fear if we DON’T in actual fact discuss this,we will turn against the one thing that the media hasn’t had of ours to drag through the mud yet.
Dr Matlock,a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon who is the Go To Guy when it comes to vaginal rejuvenation surgery was quoted in a magazine article as saying women should all aspire to have the perfect [virginal] vagina. This is a man,with a penis,telling US what we should feel and do with ourselves. I was outraged. But then I had to stop and think,they’ve made us believe what our breasts and asses should look like,what made me think our pussies weren’t up next on the list?
Since then I’ve had quite a few sit downs with female friends and have discovered,these are thoughts many women have,we just never discuss it. “I think I have an ugly vagina” is not easy to spew out and so many of us suffer in silence.
It’s a damn shame and I hope once women actually wake up and begin to actually bother loving themselves fiercely through all this bullshit,we’ll be okay. We’ll be happy.