“Women lie. Men lie. Numbers don’t lie.” This may have been thought up with Business in mind but if experience has taught me anything, it’s that the same rule applies when it comes to sex.
We lie. Whether it’s about penis measurements, cup sizes or how long we can last in the sack, we lie.
I understand. You don’t want to seem inadequate. You want her to think you’re the best package there is out there, make her want, need, to be with you, to have you just once, so you add a bit here,omit a bit there and Voila, she’s down to fuck. Like a Peacock you fluff out your feathers and prance about like you’re the biggest cock there is, [Pun intended], giving her sleepless nights as she spends hours experiencing every move she hopes you’ll deliver, in her head. You’re her Mandingo,her James Deen,her Prince Charming from the Nasty side of the tracks.
And then the time comes. You get her slightly tipsy,hoping this will shield the blow that you’re about to deliver, or rather attempt to, and fail at. There’s kissing, there’s groping, breathless moans and tugging at clothes, you SHOULD be turned on, and maybe you are, but nothing stirs, and all too familiar feeling that doesn’t get any easier to handle. Her hands on you do nothing,and you kind of forgot to mention that you really aren’t THAT well endowed actually. You’re just an average guy. The guilt, mixed with the anger at the constant disappointment Little Man shoves your way and the desire that won’t show become all too much and as you try to push it all aside, she discovers your naked secret.
Her face registers a mixture of shock and disappointment that you’ve seen enough times that you’d catch it from a Mile away, flashing for a nano second. The fact that It’s flaccid doesn’t help. And then you start fumbling through an excuse about how this doesn’t happen all the time and you’re probably just too drunk and you’re Sorry. She could try and get it up if she wants to, or you could postpone..The same old routine.
Some men are Minute Men,and some men just can’t maintain an erection. They don’t speak about it. They probably can’t even admit it to themselves, but that’s how things are. This is not a once every six months Whiskey Dick situation. He cannot get it up,and Ladies, if you find yourself in such a situation, there really is one way I prefer to diffuse the awkwardness. Be compassionate.
It’s quite easy to be an asshole in such a situation. You haven’t had your orgasm yet, it doesn’t seem like you will. He was dishonest, he led you on. You go from shocked, to angry. But I tend to look at it this way, yes, he may have lied, but Sex is one of those we all wanna be good at. You would lie too.
Given the situation,if you had issues with getting aroused and ready, I doubt you would be willing to put that out there. Denial would be your best Defense. Try and be understanding, and leave the rest for later.
Now I’ve come to find of the men who have this issue,there are two kinds: The Angry Macho types, and the Soft, understanding ones.
The angry,macho types are mad at their penises. How dare it not represent him to his satisfaction? He is a Man. He should be getting ass. He deserves it. How dare it? Also, his guilt and self consciousness kick in and he gets angry at all the other men out there. Thrusting to their hearts content. He cannot believe that it’s him. It can’t be. It’s probably you. Yes, every female he meets sucks. And then he might muster enough of an erection to thrust thrice into you,subsequently relieving his anger and all that he felt, and convincing himself he showed you who’s actually Boss.
The soft understanding ones know how things are,have accepted it,and are saddened by the situation. He feels as if he’s not man enough to deliver. His sex life is shrouded in Shame and therefore, he cannot enjoy it. He bares himself to females, hopeful and careful. He would like to please you, but he can’t, so he lets go of things and hopes. For it to go away,for someone to understand,for SOMETHING to happen that’ll make it all better.
I’ve encountered both types of men and will state this. He who seeks understanding will get it. Those who insist on crushing you with their rib cage for about the same amount of time as an interlude lasts, then act like you ain’t shit, get no love.
As someone who has a few sexual insecurities herself I understand the importance of sex being an enriching experience. It’s scary enough baring your Self to someone, baring yourself to someone and having it be a complete disaster is some BS.
So on the matter of Minute Men,I say we try. Communication goes a long way. One might just be nervous, or have issues of inadequacy. Often times you’ll find talking about why things are that they are will get someone to loosen up around you, trust you, and try harder to give.
I figure a bit of time spent cultivating a relationship,[even if it’s one that’ll bloom for a short while and then die],building trust and intimacy,thus leading to better sex,is worth it.
People WILL lie. But as long as we understand Why,we’re free to make the most out of situations despite how things began. Hey,all men can’t be [Insert Favourite Male porn star here] and we can’t all be Jada Fire or Skin Diamond or Rihanna. We don’t always ooze Sex Appeal and shit either ladies. So if we want to experience the Beauty that comes with sex,after the lies and and the self consciousness,we work on it. It’s simple as that. You don’t have to marry him, you don’t even have to see him again, but the whole idea is to make every sexual experience as awesome as possible.
So screw it,the next time you’re faced with a not so enthusiastic member, rather think of it as an opportunity to play and discover new things. Your one minute man who’s been nervous and a tad bit ashamed could end up giving you the best bedding of your life.