Day: January 25, 2013

How Hard 2: The Seduction Of Submission

Some women feel the need to provide for the men in their lives.
To cater to his every need and ensure his content, joy.. To please.
I have always been this kind of woman.

If you are the man I consider special,the one I value and hold  in high esteem, I will always see to it that you’re satisfied in every way and I will seek to fulfill all your desires. I do whatever is in my realm of capabilities to make sure you are happy.
It’s how I’ve always been in relationships and it is how I think I will always be.

When it comes to my interactions with the men I’m with, I am rather traditional. I believe the man I’m with should be a pillar of strength. A provider. My safe place, my stability, my joy and my comfort. If he is all of this to me,  I’ll be all I am for him. I’ll be his.

Submission was a foreign concept to me, as BDSM was at some point. Honestly, a part of me felt I was a tad bit backward for feeling the need to provide for and belong to a man as I did.

While doing research for an article I was working on about the BDSM world and the  misconceptions people have of it, I stumbled upon accounts and diary entries of submissives. While reading them I realized, this was the kind of Woman I was drawn to being.

Submission had been a threatening idea because I felt I’d be relinquishing my rights to myself. Was I selling out? Would I be his slave? Why did I feel the need to be in such a set up? There were more questions than answers and the only answer that kept coming up was “It just IS what I want. It’s what feels right.”

I thought about it, kept on reading and came to the conclusion that in actual fact, this was another step to discovering who I am as a lover, partner and a woman.

There was no shame in the fact that I wanted to be owned by my partner. Therein lay my comfort. Knowing that there was someone who could be strong for you, who knew you in ways none other did and who you trusted enough to give all of yourself to.

I understand why some people think submissive women are weak. I used to. But,this is the life we feel comfortable living.

The relationship between a Dom [Dominant] and his sub [submissive] is not one that could be easily explained to an outsider. The level of intimacy shared is one I honestly think most relationships lack. You trust someone with all of you and trust them to have your best interests at hearts, without fail.

Thankfully while I was learning and accepting this side of myself I had a partner who was understanding and accepting. He was open to this and had his fair share of kinks and pleasures he liked to indulge [in].

He became my Sir. It wasn’t awkward. It wasnt forced.  We already had such a relationship to begin with but discussing it made it easier for both of us and our relationship [and sex life]  became better because of it.

When it comes to BDSM sex and being a sub, honey, the pleasures are both thrilling and occasionally terrifying. The right Dom will
push you out of your comfort zone and push into you in ways no other will be able to top. For me, its been one long enlightening and enriching experience.

Provided your Dom treats you as the Queen you are,[as some people will pretend to be such only to prey on and use females] as his sub, even if the relationship ends, there will always be a level of intimacy, a bond.

Your Dom/Sir/Master will know you in ways no other person will,and that’s one thing I appreciate and probably eternally will. The trust, the intimacy, knowing you have someone who really knows you.

Submission however, is kept for those who understand it, and who I can see a future with. So far, there’s only been one such man. And to this day those around me still don’t understand how we work.

Its been a rough,bumpy ride [the only kind I prefer really] but I can honestly say I know what kind of Lady/Freak I am. And you,love?