The reality of being a woman in a “forward thinking, free” society.

So I’ve been reading on the Oscar Pistorius case and I’m genuinely shocked at how brutal the murder was. My heart breaks with every new detail because I wonder, what was this girl going through that she hid so well? Can you imagine what it must have been like to be with someone and have to put on that brave face and grin and take it because you’re in the public eye?

I can relate, but I doubt if what I think even comes close to what was. 

It’s just that..Reeva now is acknowledged as The Victim..But a part of me believes society only acknowledges this because of the fact that she is dead. Had she made it through, had this not occurred and had she gone forward and told people he abused her, she would have been the bitch who sought to tarnish the reputation of a Star, a National Treasure even. She would not have gotten sympathy and we know it.

It’s not that people don’t know others get abused, they do, but because they think it’s nothing but a slap, one punch, nothing too tragic, nothing to cause a confrontation over, they don’t get involved. 

It’s not possible for people around them to not have known. Especially people who knew him. But of course it’s easier to attempt to keep his image clean than admit you knew and say you stood by and watched.

He crushed her skull. He chased her around and shot at her. He shot her. He killed her. 

They had been in bed together and whatever had happened, he did that to her. 

Articles cover his accomplishments. “What could have caused this? Oh my. Who knew? We’re so sad..” Her? She gets about 3 lines talking about her life. Because I don’t even think they view her as an actual PERSON. They try to make it seem so..But they fail dismally. She is nothing but another victim, but before that she is The Woman Who Caused Pistorius’ Downfall, to many.

Frankly I never really gave a fuck about who he is. I think viewing him as a celebrity/icon means we think his circumstances were special and some shit we couldn’t understand. Thus he won’t be judged as a mere Man.  People wanna cry but overlook the man who burns his family in a house in Soweto or the one who stabs his wife to death in Francistown over bread..The one in India who pours boiling water on his wife for bringing his food cold. Why? Because they remain nameless to society. Who are they and what did they do other than ruin [another] woman’s life?

We’re so used to women being victims that we only really notice when something incredibly heinous happens, and even then, it gets our attention for a minute.  Women cry, complain, march..And then? Something else happens and we have to switch up to the new victim. 

This is the reality of being a woman in a “forward thinking, free” society. 

Patriarchal men and their way of thinking still owns most of us and our mothers.  Because at the end of the day we’re viewed as expendable, replaceable, we still really don’t matter until it’s convenient for us to. 

 

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