First and foremost, you must fall in love with your phone. You must fall in love with the sound — that precious, metallic “ding!” — that lets you know a message has arrived. Something is there where there was once only tedious, agonizing silence from the other end. Countless days have been spent waiting for a response to something you have sent, and that little sound (a ring, perhaps, if you are lucky, but you so rarely are) means that your patience has been rewarded.
Never ask yourself why you are always the one to initiate contact or make the effort. Only focus on waiting at least an hour before responding to their long-delayed message, lest you come across as desperate as you actually are.
Begin to hate your body, because it refuses to be good enough. If it were, they would not be such an elusive presence in your…
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