Where is my Glory?

“Hair is a Woman’s Glory” – Maya Angelou

I went to the barber yesterday to cut off the troublesome ends of my hair that kept hopping off and leaving a trail like a shedding sheep dog behind me. Understand I went for a trim.  Unfortunately my barber came in drunk, probably high too, misunderstood what I meant, and took most of it off.  Why would I let a drunk man cut my hair? Because I know him and I’m lazy, too lazy to make the 10 minute walk to the salon the next day, and so I stayed.

My head’s fine, he didn’t sever off my ear and leave the floor looking like a scene from Saw 3. It was covered with most of my hair and a bit of my joy. 

Understand, having short hair is a decision one needs to be prepared for.  One I’ve made before, but my biggest issue was that I wasn’t ready this time.  It’s Amber Rose short, and I call this my “Pretty Little Lesbian” look.  I’m constantly touching it and I catch myself muttering “G.I Jane”. 

But that’s neither here nor there, I just wanted to share my shock and pain. This is what I really feel about the look.

 

I’ve always said I feel sexiest when from the barber.  

There’s something about knowing that you put in minimal effort into your appearance and you still look good that makes you feel good.  Not as much time, not as much pressure, not worrying over how long to straighten it, which combination of products to use, how to style it today.. you just condition, moisturize and go. 

When it comes to having short hair, you find yourself trying your best not to look like a little boy.

Especially in my case. I’m short so in baggy clothing I could possibly pass for a teenage boy. An androgynous teenage boy maybe? But anyway, I’ve met a lot of women who agree, with short hair, your make up needs to be on point. Even if it’s just eyeliner, lipstick and blush. Why?

Because a lot of the time your hair is what upholds your femininity, right up there with the obvious breasts, hips and buttocks.  When you don’t have braids or a weave or an afro, you have to have something that can be looked at and still show that you’re a woman. I don’t know why but that’s just what is, sometimes. Personally where as with longer hair or a larger afro I would feel comfortable leaving the house with nothing but Vaseline on my lips, with short hair, it’s the pink lipgloss and liquid eyeliner, standard. Or maybe it’s us and we  feel the need to display our femininity in such a way. Possibly.

When it comes to attraction..

Oftentimes people look at you like you’re a new breed of woman, because I realized, what might be just hair to you, is a statement to another.  I read this morning that being a woman with short hair “means you can trek your own path and stand against the crowd, you don’t accept the rules of society” and all I thought was, “Damn, it’s not that real!”. But maybe that’s how people see it. I’ve had men come up to me and stare, marvel, and ask “Why don’t you have a weave like other girls? Do you relax your hair? Are you a natural Black woman? You’re beautiful.”  And that leads to my other point..

 

Hair isn’t always political.

I think after watching “Good Hair” we all got our panties in a bunch and started looking down on women with processed hair, placing women with natural hair on pedestals and every woman’s personal decision was scrutinized and somehow used to determine her self worth and stance on racism or whatever. Listen, the decision to relax my hair, cut it, dye it, fuck, eat it, is my own. What do I want? Will it make me feel beautiful? It’s a choice about your appearance. As is applying nail polish, as is  picking an outfit. I’m not ignorant to the fact that some women feel long, straight hair determines beauty, but that doesn’t apply for the rest of us. I’m not a “Natural Sista”. I’m not “different”. Just a Lady with short hair. 

The Idea that not all women can rock it.

Forget that. The argument is usually that some women have ugly heads. And so? Some men have ugly heads too nobody complains about that. As a woman why would you bother and spend money on something you don’t want to cover up something you weren’t insecure of in the first place? Get it girl. Get it. 

“Are you okay? Why cut it?”

“Cutting off the hair has been related to imbalance in life, trauma, and mental health issues.” Well..See.. I understand this one. I’ve been known to cut it or dye it when bothered by something or trying to move on from something but, it’s understandable. We associate our appearance with our experiences and so changing that is a way of shedding those bad memories. It doesn’t mean we’re crazy or preparing to torch an ex boyfriend’s house. Well, sometimes. 

So, you know… I hope you Haired me. *Laughs alone* My glory lies in my ability to make any decision that I want to determine my beauty. Even if that’s sometimes altered by a drunk man with a machine.

Adieu.

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