Everyone thinks they have shit figured out. We all have opinions on situations we’ve never been in and a mental rule book on how to live that we never consult when issues involve us.
The one thing it seems all human beings are good at, is critiquing someone else’s decisions.
“So and so fell pregnant, she’s silly, why would she? She’s so young.”
“He’s engaged. But he’s only 22. Why? There’s so much to still experience.”
Basically: “So and so’s not doing what I’d do so their decisions are sketchy.”
Our generation has a jaded view on love and relationships. Many are extremists on the matter. They either believe relationships are for the needy or single people are ill. We all question each other’s decisions with no knowledge on the intricate details of matters.
Somewhere on this journey of Life I decided I’m dying alone.
Well, not so much decided as accepted, maybe.
And this is the part where I roll my eyes as someone chimes in “Well, we all die alone.” Yes, thank you for your input Sherlock Hipster.
Raised with the idea that everyone has a soulmate who’ll put up with their shit I went into dating with a certain certainty. It was kind of like taking shots until you find the one that tastes good and gets you drunk the fastest. You just knew you’d find it, you had to.
As time’s passed I’ve met my soulmates. [Yes, some people have more than one. I’ve met four so far.] None of which I’ve dated.
I’d gladly marry tomorrow provided the person knows when to leave me alone. For me, that is the key to a peaceful union: individuality and acceptance.
I’ve dated people who are exactly like me and I’ve dated people who are nothing like me. I’ve been in love and I’ve been infatuated. I’ve discussed baby names and considered how long I’d wait after marrying someone before I’d divorce them.
See I don’t believe marriage is the inconvenience many believe it is, I believe it can be.
I go into relationships knowing things will change. My partner will, so will I, and for me, the main question is: Am I willing and able to grow with this person?
Many people don’t think about that. They don’t wonder if the person they’ll be in the future will be compatible with the person their partner will be.
For me, long term relationships mean committing to the person your partner will be in the future. If you can both agree on doing this, I don’t see why people can’t marry young.
Marriage for me doesn’t equate to “settling down”.
It is not putting your dreams on the back burner.
It is not leaving your dreams to focus on someone else’s.
It’s about finding someone to love you and encourage you as you grow.
My best friend taught me more about romance than any romantic relationship ever has.
In our 8 years together we’ve been many things and all kinds of people. We’ve shared experiences we’ll never disclose. We’ve fought, we’ve laughed and we’ve cried.
I realized a few years ago, the main thing that’s kept us together is respect, love and acceptance.
And here Sherlock Hipster chimes in again “Well relationships aren’t like friendships. There’s sacrifice and responsibility and..”
There’s all that, sure.
But the basis of every good relationship I believe, should be those three.
Decide if you’re going to give conditional or unconditional love.
Will you still be there if your partner decides to be a drag queen? Or quit school and move to another country to be a bar tender?
What is it you see in that person and is it enough for you in the long run?