20 Things To Do In The Dark

Or rather, 20 things I’ve done in the dark.  Because that’s all we’ve had lately: darkness and silence.

“But don’t you live in a fairly developed country?” You ask, dear Reader.

“Why?!” You wonder.

I don’t know, man.  We have theories and mum government officials.

So here’s something to do on those days when we have no electricity for hours.

Feel free to add suggestions in the comment section.

1. Wonder how long it’ll be out for.

2. Play cards until you either win enough times to think you can be a poker champion.  Or lose enough times to go back to 1.

3. Tweet your disappointment, like a commoner.

4. Tell your pets your life story.

5. Consider becoming a political activist.

6. Picture how your life would be as Jason Statham’s wife.

7. Make a list of all the things you’d have to give up to attain that position.

8. 1 again.

9. Think about how many bjs you’d have to give in order to make sure that power cuts never occur again. [We know that’s probably not the key but.. Who knows, maybe if you give one to the right person in power..]

10. Wonder where you’d be at the current moment in time, 100 years ago.  Hunting? Pounding yam? Being sold for half a goat and kola nut?

11. Wonder if you’re prepared for a zombie apocalypse.

12. Consider getting fit. [Half a sit up does’t cut it anymore.]

13. Wonder if you’re indirectly still the White man’s slave.

14. 1 and 9.

15. 5 and 9.

16. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, wonder if you’d eat your pets.

17. Realize you have no recipes to prepare said pets.

18. Read a book.

19. Masturbate under candlelight and pretend you actually feel like being romantic. On your own. With half a candle burning. And no battery life.

20. Visit Facebook.

*Yes, I know it got grim pretty fast.

But so did our “load shedding” situation.

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