It takes strength, determination and commitment, as a young woman, to get up from under the thumb of Society’s expectations and burdens. We’re raised to believe we need to put others before us in a way that goes beyond simple altruism. A woman is to carry her family, her friends, her neighbours and society at large on her back and do it gracefully.
But who thinks of the woman’s needs? Who thinks of her dreams and aspirations?
Society’s taken strides to encourage independence in women but I’ve found, whether in a bid to keep us realistic or simply because a lot of people still feel that way internally, their encouragement always has a limit.
A glass ceiling.
How many of our own parents have encouraged us as young women to truly be independent?
No one seems to discuss the fact that a degree doesn’t guarantee that. Nor does money or a car, although they might make your life a bit more comfortable.
Independence starts from within. It, like knowledge, is something no one can take away from you without your consent.
As one grows, one experiences loss. We lose friends, partners, family, mindsets and assets. In fact one might say the only constants in your life right now, truly, are yourself, and change.
But when was the last time you thought about your goals and aspirations? Without the little voice in your head reminding you of what everyone else expects of you.
To quote the author Paulo Coehlo “To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation.”
It sounds a bit unrealistic, granted, but the older you get, the more important this message will become. There will never be a shortage of people who want you to do what they want you to do, and everyone seems to know what’s best for the next person while never taking their own advice.
As much as I don’t know anyone else’s destiny, I can tell you this, it’s never to become somebody else’s project/puppet. Your separate existence as an entity is so for a reason. You have a life and you have choices.
Independence also requires a lot of self love.
You need to love yourself enough to want the best for yourself, by your standards. But desire is not enough, you must also love yourself enough to seek it out. This will mean endless hours of self actualization, some of which may be rather tedious. You may become the boring [read: focused] one, and you WILL face quite a few hurdles, but the adversity faced will seem rather minuscule once you achieve your goals.
There is no specific mold to the perfect life. No one has the blueprint and therefore, no one can truly tell you you’re wrong to follow your passions.
A woman is capable of so much, far more than we can ever imagine.
Why not achieve it all?
Put yourself first for a change. Put your dreams first.
Put your Life first.
“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”
― Paulo Coelho, Alchemist