autonomy

Kelly Cutrone

Kelly Cutrone is a Badass.
Before I get into why, just repeat her name to yourself like a mantra and savour how empowered you feel.
Done? Cool.
Now..

Why is she a Badass, dear reader?
Because she says things like this:

“I learned quickly that people have strong conceptions about powerful women, and powerful women are not viewed the way powerful men are viewed. When people see a powerful woman, they start to attack them. And that’s fine with me. If you can hold your own and withstand all that firing, they celebrate you. It’s like a gladiator sport.”

“Even though I am sometimes perceived as a bitch or a witch, the office atmosphere I cultivate is nothing like the cultural stereotype of striving women clawing each other to death to get the queen bee’s job. Women have been taught that, in order to get ahead, we have to be secretive and plotting and manipulative, because a straightforward route to the top hasn’t always existed for us, and in many industries it still doesn’t. But I don’t believe in playing into these stereotypes. We don’t have to stab each other in the back, we don’t have to take things personally and break down when we’re criticized, and we don’t have to advance at each others’ expense.”

“Your dreams are ballbusters; they’re not the yellow brick road.”

“We’re constantly getting these messages to mind our own business and look the other way if we want to be well liked, to not tell the truth or speak our mind or say anything too intense. Well, I’m telling you here that this approach not only makes you party to other people’s crimes against themselves but is a prescription for mediocrity and delusion.”

“The whole book basically says that I think women have been programmed to be the prettiest, skinniest, best girl, to be really skinny and wear pretty clothes and go to college and get a great degree and then come out and get a great job, and then find a guy and get married, and get pregnant and have a baby, and sorta live happily ever after. And my take is that doesn’t really allow for a lot of freedom for them figure out like, is that who they really are. And so, this is the book for like the village girl who doesnt wanna do things in the order that their mother said, like first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage. This is for the person who wants to find themselves and be who they are, regardless of their gender, and make the most of their life.” -On “If You Have To Cry Go Outside”

She’s not known for being nice.

She’s know for making the hard decisions and telling the truth.
She’s known for building a Public Relations empire.
She’s known by some as “The tarot card reader from that one time.”
She’s known for writing two amazing ass books “If You Have To Cry Go Outside” and “Normal Gets You Nowhere”.
She’s the Mean Demon Lady whose been on The Hills, The City and America’s Next Top Model.

And she’s a mother, a boss and a being whose constantly completely honest with herself.
At the end of the day, she’s an inspiration.

If we’re being honest: I want to be a half naked, hairy recluse

Like many of you, I feel cheated.

Deceived.

Robbed.

Bamboozled.

Misled.

 

When I was young I couldn’t wait to grow up.  When I was 8 I wanted to be 18 so I could finally change my name to Alicia [After Alicia Silverstone, I’d been watching Excess Baggage on repeat], bleach my skin and move to New York.  Where I was going to get the money wasn’t a problem, my father said we were rich [More disappointment would come in the future regarding this].  Becoming White wasn’t going to be an issue either, I was already light skinned. I could dye my hair blonde and get blue contact lenses.

In my young mind, it was all very plausible.

 

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But this is not a post about how The White Man influenced my self image, this is a post on the other lie I was fed: That you gain control of your Life when you get older.

I’m so disgusted, I’m hacked.

To think that I’ve waited all these years, only to have society continue to dictate to me what I should be and how I should act.

To think, I grew up for this.

1. I did not grow up to wear pants.

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I remind myself of this every time I look at the damn constrictors. I don’t like them.  Pants were created by The Man to keep us miserable. I also blame you society, for being unsafe, also hindering me from wearing an oversized t shirt to the tuckshop for a cigarette.

Can you imagine what a leisurely stroll that would be?

But no, I have to wear pants and ruin the whole thing.

2. I also did not grow up to shave. 

As I was engaging in this extreme sport [It really is, one wrong move and whoops! No clitoris] I wondered why.  Fine, at the end of the day, it really is my decision to, seeing as I am the only one who ever sees my Portal To Excellence anyway, but it got me thinking. Right now, we’re at a point in society where hair on a woman’s body is considered unfeminine.

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I consider the times when I let my pubes grow out my own internal rebellious act. A big “Fuck you!” to The Man.

In an ideal world though, I would let it grow out a bit longer, I won’t lie. And I know you might wanna pin this on me being lazy [TRUE!] But really, it’s a hassle.

I often wonder if the silky smooth [Yes, TV ads have brainwashed me] feeling I get is worth it.

 

3. I definitely did not grow up to have to interact with people.Image

I really did not.

When I was young I wanted to be famous. Not for the money, not really. But because I wanted two things:

1.To have people mourn me how I’ll mourn Oprah.

2. I wanted to be as far away from commoners as possible. And by commoners I mean most people who aren’t me.

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But NO!

You grow up and there’re family members you have to maintain relationships with, bosses [In my case, editors, but whatever] you have to constantly communicate with, new lovers, plenty of acquaintances, and just a shitload of human beings.

 

It is hell.

Sometimes I just turn off the network on my phone and  sit under a table because HUMANS, EVERYWHERE!

 

I feel so defeated.  Today, I have done things that go against who I want[ed] to be [circa 12 years old].

But I guess this makes me an adult, my ability to prosper [Kind of] in an environment that occasionally threatens to crush my [irrational] dreams.

 

*PS This post kind of has nothing to do with the fact that I recently watched The Hobbit 2.

I think.