misconceptions

We DO love them Ho’s

I love women.

I love strippers, housewives, prostitutes, nuns and ho’s.  I want the best for them all, whether that means going to med school or being a porn star til you make enough to retire. I respect them, I adore them, I admire them.

But this does not stop me from screaming out “Bitches ain’t shit but ho’s and tricks” when the track comes on..Yes, I do want a big booty ho for my birthday and Juicy J gets me hype as hell.

Now anyone who listens to Hip Hop would understand why it’s considered ideal for misogynists.  The lyrics are mostly derogatory towards women, or rather, “bitches”.

“I just fuck her, let you love her.” -King Louie

“I don’t respect no brain unless we talkin’ that saliva spit,
Ho I got a lot of bread, lot of whips, lot of chicks,
You can be demolished then be gone without acknowledgement..” -Wale

“I never met a bitch that didn’t need a little guidance..” – Pusha T

“You see, me and my homies like to play this game
We call it Amtrak but some call it the train
We all would line up in a single-file line
And take our turns at waxing girls’ behinds..” – 2 Live Crew

Bitches are, mainly, sex objects, This is made apparent not only by the lyrics, but by the music videos too. Attractive women are recruited to play out the fantasies the lyrics sold in the first place. Lesbian scenes to excite the masses, scantily clad females shaking ass and looking like they enjoy it. They feed into our fantasies while still making us uncomfortable, because we know..That’s someone’s sister. Someone’s mother maybe. Definitely someone’s daughter. And these men saying these things, are of our ethnicity. They are of our tribe and this is not some random man from afar calling you a Nappy Headed Ho, it’s someone with equally nappy hair.

As my politically correct side and my ratchet side collided, I began to make up excuses in my head of why I should in fact continue listening to these men who tell me to “bus’ this pussy open” and how, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter. My PC side reminded me that I am a Black woman and by being a part of this, I’m allowing them to continue the breakdown of Black women and spread misogyny and patriarchy.

It was a tough call.

As I sat I thought..

Black men can’t REALLY hate us. I mean, on the surface it looks like it, but do they really?

They verbally abuse and degrade these women on a grand scale. Granted, the women place themselves in these situations but as they themselves often say. “A bitch gotta eat.”

Looking at these men, most are married to or in relationships with Black women. Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, Dr Luke, Wiz Khalifa.. Despite their “Bitches ain’t shit” crap, they have stable homes with the very women we’d expect them to be shunning.

On that note, we get to the ‘Ho’s.  Strippers are big right now. No rap video worth it’s salt doesn’t have at least 5 of them twerking, gyrating and doing splits. You’d think after the video shoots these women would be discarded,no? These are the ones society would consider the true Ho’s,I mean, they take off their clothes for money. Nope. Wrong.

Wiz Khalifa is currently expecting a child with Amber Rose, a former stripper who was previously with Kanye West and has been linked to Fabolous and Chris Brown among others. Kanye West himself is now expecting a baby with self made Millionaire Kim Kardashian who shot to fame after her sex tape with Ray J leaked. Tyga has a child with Blac Chyna, a former stripper. Drake doesn’t hide his adoration for them, and has been linked to Maliah Michel, Kyra Chaos and Bria Myles, a video vixen. Lil Wayne has been quoted as saying Karrine Steffans AKA SupaHead is the love of his life and supposedly wrote his song Prostitute about her.

These are the bitches and ho’s they supposedly don’t care about.  They are the women they’re looking after and loving. Rappers go to strip clubs and spend thousands and we think they’re treating these women like objects, which may be true but in the grand scheme of things, these women take home this money to feed their kids. They pay their bills and build lives by what they get from these men who supposedly hate them.

These Black men who, granted, on a public forum don’t really do much praising, are, in action helping out, providing for and supporting these Black women. Wale went and placed one of the female characters in Ambitious Girl as a stripper.

I had to look beyond the blatant bullshit and wonder, are these men really just doing this to eat? I mean, we all know, it’s hard for the darker race over there. You have to be a puppet to survive..Is that what’s up? And if so, maybe, as Wayne said, I can “pop my pussy for a real nigga” and it won’t be that much of an issue. Because he doesn’t REALLY think I’m nothing but a “big booty ho”. When the song’s done,I’ll go back to being an attractive, intelligent female. It could be pipe dreams. But at the same time, there’s always more than meets the eye.

[On that note, I suggest you check out this 4 part documentary on Strippers [Power of Pussy] here. It looks at the challenges they face and the misconceptions they seek to clear up. There’s lots of ass and beautiful women in there too. Enjoy]

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“I’m Every Woman..”

For some unknown reason, people expect others to carry their Race, Sex and Age group on their backs. As much as we spew out cliche crap like “Everyone is different” and “Be your own person”, we meet people and either expect them to conform to stereotypes and misconceptions we personally have, or not.

While hanging out with a friend, a man who’d been trying to court me for a while happened to pass by and decided to chill with us. It wasn’t awkward, conversation flowed, things were calm, going well.

Then someone brought up the issue of Ex’s. I joked that out of all of us, I probably always pick the worst ones. Lord, I wasn’t ready for what came next. This man got mad. I swear you would’ve thought the comment was somehow directed at him. 

“What is it with you bitches? [What?] I mean..no, not you..but..Women. Y’all..You don’t know what you want..You say you want a nice guy, then you get him, then YOU start changing and WE’RE the bad guys. Fuck that. No. Your ex’s can’t possibly be bad people,maybe you’re the one with the problem. Maybe YOU fuck them up. But you women think you’re perfect so nothing is ever your fault akere?”

Insert awkward silence as my friend and I stared at one another, confused and slightly amused. I had to wonder, is this what women sound like when we go on our “Men ain’t shit” rants? Cos it was pathetic as hell.

I asked “Who hurt you boo?” And he clammed up. “No one..I’m just saying.” Now, I don’t like people’s unnecessary feelings, I’m not gonna sit there and have you channel your feelings for your ex and spew your BS onto me, I don’t know her. I don’t know what’s up. So I explained.. “Look, evidently you have issues, and that’s cool, that’s your shit, so keep it as such. We don’t know who ever did whatever they did to you and it’s dumb for you to generalize, just as you wouldn’t have me saying “All men are shit. They lie and cheat and are all secretly psychotic.” It would be annoying as fuck and you wouldn’t be trying to hear that. So please, spare us your heartbreak.” He looked a tad bit embarrassed and then,relaxed..conversation continued and we steered clear of the Relationships topic. 

An hour or so later his friend rocks up. He also happens to be friends with one of my ex’s and evidently no one had told him things between his friend and I hadn’t ended well because he asks me how he is. I reply “Fuck that nigga hey” and laugh. Lord, again. “Why would you say that? He’s my boy. I thought you guys were happy together. What is it with you girls?One minute you love a guy, the next it’s fuck him…” and his rant continued, with the other guy throwing in his 2 cents about how females are two faced and…Zzzzzzz. I zoned out. After a few minutes of this I look at my friend and she’s obviously over the whole thing so we part ways with the guys, evidently they have heartbreak to discuss.

As we’re walking away I think..Generalizing about the opposite sex and trashing their behaviour when it came to relationship issues used to be considered a female trait. “Bitches are always bitching” as I overheard someone say once. How is it that we got to a point that WE are now the ones taking things in stride and men are coming apart at the seams?

This was a while ago. I’ve met more men since then who put this nonsense on me and to them I’ll say this : Listen, shut up. We don’t care. If you want sympathy, tell your story, fine. But you’ll get no love from any female if your approach is “Fuck y’all, you’re all the same.” We are not each other. Remember that and  go cry it out.

I personally believe one shouldn’t talk about their issues with others unless they’ve already dealt with them themselves. It leaves you vulnerable, exposed to opinions and suggestions that might do more harm than good and there’s a good chance you’ll become dependent on people to help fix everything. 

So if at all you have any issues with the opposite sex remember this [And this goes for both men and women] : People did that to you. Specific people. Not their whole gender/race/church group or whatever. Individuals. Nobody wants to hear that ‘You’re all the same” crap. It makes you sound immature, butthurt and pathetic. Do you want to be immature? Butthurt and pathetic? If so, go ‘head with yo bad self. But go do it far away from the rest of us. We can’t care.  Not like this. 

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