power

The Help: Sex with the Maid

Today while dropping a friend’s nephews off at home, I met their maid. A simple woman,really. Bald, dark skinned, she was in a torn t-shirt and track pants. No one worth remembering. Or at least I thought so until she picked up the toddler and turned around to walk into the house. 

 

My first thought at seeing her behind was “Fuck. Hey! How does the husband of this household function?!” after which I reminded myself that not all men cheat, while still staring at her butt in disbelief and slight admiration. I watched her walk away and kind of understood why a man may get the desire to sleep with the maid.

On the other hand, I realized, not all men who sleep with the Help could sock it down to simple Lust.

Society usually blames the woman for her husband’s cheating. There’s always something she’s lacking that made the husband stray.

You could be the breadwinner, cooking everyday, bathing the kids, washing the dishes, paying school fees, sweating wine and feeding him chocolate from your cleavage, and when that man cheats, society will look at you and say “Sure, whatever, she did all that. But she didn’t help him put on his shoes that morning. It was her fault. She should be ashamed. What did all that hard work get her anyway? She should have known her place.”

And that’s what those deep in The Patriarchy think.

A woman’s place is in the kitchen and if not there, wherever her husband wants her to be. 

If you aren’t there, you probably deserve to be treated badly because you’re a disobedient slag. 

Working class women often get the worst of it, it seems. 

In a society that is still mostly misogynistic and patriarchal, the woman who steps out of the kitchen/bedroom and decides to be more than Somebody’s Something is a sell-out. To other women, women who don’t share her views/drive, she thinks she’s better than them. How dare she? Who does she think she is? Is she saying that THEY are slaves? Stupid? Fuck her.

 

And so when Working Woman’s husband strays, maybe even leaves her for the maid, in their eyes, she deserved it because she wasn’t “playing her role”.

I began to wonder, assuming, as a working class woman, you marry a man who appreciates the path you’ve chosen, and you end up with a rather hectic workload, is it possible for the man that you settled with, no matter how open minded he may have been in the beginning, to cheat with the maid, and if so, why?

Simple Attraction

We begin to get accustomed to those we spend time with. We expect our partners to not fraternize with the Help because they’re employees and should be treated as such. But frankly speaking, it’s quite possible for the two to develop feelings for one another, whether lustful or otherwise. And in such a situation, you, as the woman of the household, have nothing to do with that. It’s easy to assume it wouldn’t have happened if you’d spent every waking moment with your partner. But who knows?

 

Basic desire/appreciation for people who take care of us

We grow fond of people who make us comfortable. Many men, with a patriarchal mindset or otherwise, might gravitate towards the maid simply because they feel cared for by her. 

Power

On the other hand, assuming these don’t apply, we get what seems to be the typical scenario. It’s a power thing. This man has a servile woman at his beck and call who gets paid to attend to him and he may not know or care that there are lines in that relationship/situation. He’s attracted to the maid not because of her person, but simply because he has power over her and in his eyes, can control her. 

Some maids are receptive but more often than not, they aren’t and they end up getting raped and remaining silent. Or adding Sex With The Sir to their list of chores to receive just a bit more at month end. 

 

Your Maid’s a Vixen

Or, you were unlucky and hired a vixen. One who made it a point to know your husband’s underwear size and schedule before she knew where the washing machine was.  And in such a situation, I can only hope you have an honest husband who’ll tell you what’s happening and not one who views the situation and sees an opportunity to make his porn fantasies come true.

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Adieu.

“She’s an ugly bitch anyway..”

I do not associate with vain females. I’m unable to. All my female friends are attractive as well as intelligent. These are confident women who are secure in their sense of Self, yet flexible enough to learn about the World. They are wholesome individuals who you can still have wet dreams about.

Now,we all know society doesn’t really like women who “speak out of turn”. Patriarchy has conditioned people to believe women belong cloaked in insecurity, waiting on others, with no original thoughts, no voice and basically, no existence worth remembering. It’s like, if you aren’t somebody’s daughter, partner  or mother, you don’t really matter. You aren’t really seen.

But as the saying goes “Well behaved women seldom make history”, and really, none of us are trying to end up as Somebody’s Something.

As a Woman, when you start speaking, thinking, doing as you please, there will be issues.  You will scare and bother people. How dare you have an opinion?

A woman’s place is In the kitchen, didn’t you know? Spend your time on your back pleasing a man and only get up if what you’re gonna do is gonna make him even happier. If you insist on being a rebel and reading books and shit, keep it to yourself, you don’t NEED to think. You don’t NEED to have rights. You don’t need to have feelings about anything that happens that affects you. You are a mere woman. You came from a man’s rib,didn’t you know? You will eternally be Less Than.

That’s that shit though. Vocal females come under fire all the time over the tiniest of things. Society’s double standards are always ready to remind you that you are Female. Mention Feminism, you’re a Man Hater. Talk about Racism, You’re a Mad Black Woman.  Sex, you’re obviously a Slut. Hopes and dreams that don’t involve a family and servitude, you’re deranged, probably a lesbian.

In the event that you can take having this ignorance thrown your way and actually continue to explore all you are as a Woman, be ready for the personal attacks you’ll get.

I find it somewhat amusing that some men think intelligent women give a fuck about being called Ugly. Do you not understand that I know that I’m much more than my appearance? And also, in the event that I offended you,why do you find it easier to attempt to hurt me instead of simple stating that you are hurt? It’s cos you’re silly,that’s why.

I’ve seen countless situations where a male and female are having an intellectual debate,or simple disagree on something and the guy gets mad and starts hurling insults at her. “You’re an ugly bitch anyway..That’s why you’re mad. Who’ll marry you? You talk too much. Sies. Nowadays you bitches say you want equality and shit and now you wanna come up and disrespect us..”. Honey, who disrespected you and how? How is it her fault you couldn’t hold your own? Am I suddenly ugly because I disagree with you? So I would be more appealing if I was submissive and compliant..Got it.

You can tell a lot about a man and how he feels about women from the way he deals with women who think. In a “forward thinking/progressive/civilized” world, everyone is expected to move on and BE better except for women?

We say: Fuck that.

We say: Your opinion of us doesn’t matter because it’s one you’ve inherited anyway, not what you really Know and Feel.

We ask: Is it that you know our potential that lately you try so hard to break us?

We ask: What are you gonna do now that we KNOW our potential?

[And is that why rape cases are increasing lately and becoming more and more gruesome? We all know rape is about Power. Is it because they feel insecure in a world where more and more women are turning away from the Bitch role and actually Being? Are they trying to scare us into submission? Is this their panicked effort to restore their version of order? On that I will say this. Things between Men and Women are bout to get bad. Really bad.  A woman who feels threatened and KNOWS she has the potential to fight back,will.  And women already carry enough pain,anger and sometimes,hatred within. Remember that.This is the world we live in hey.]

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